


I Will Make You Feel Oh My God

by Bam4Me



Series: Burnin' One Hell Of A Somethin' [1]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dany and Drogo and Tormund work at a sex toy shop, Dany's one true love is a million lizards in a trench coat, F/F, First of a series, Future Sansa/Margaery, M/M, Modern Era, Modern Westeros, Pets, Read notes for series details, Setting: High Garden, Sex Shop, Tormund and Drogo are at least ten years younger than in the show/books, Tyrion is a Targaryen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 04:40:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11821428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bam4Me/pseuds/Bam4Me
Summary: In which Dany is a bored college kid staying in High Garden with her cousins since Jon and Sansa were taking summer classes still. Ugh. Boring. So of course, she does the most interesting thing she can think of and takes a job at a local sex toy shop, because why the fuck not?(The adventures of Dany with a sex shop and playing match maker with everyone she knows.)





	I Will Make You Feel Oh My God

**Author's Note:**

> RARE PAIRS ARE THE ONLY THING I LOVE IN LIFE DEAL WITH IT. Okay, so like, idea: Dany working in a sex toy shop, Jon and Sansa as ballet students (High Garden has a very prestigious academy for the arts, and also, one of the biggest gay populations in Westeros.) Drogo and Tormund are bikers who used to be in rival gangs but then they fell in love and moved to High Garden and have been working at the sex toy shop since. Ygritte is a mathmatics student who's there on scholarship. Tormund is a native Northerner and Drogo is from Vaes Dothrak so pretty much none of them are from here.
> 
> Jon and Dany were raised on Dragonstone so they're both island natives, Sansa grew up in Winterfell. Jon grew up with Rhaegar/Lyanna/Elia all as his parents so no issues there, Dany grew up with her mom and brother because Dad is in Jail for being a Huge Shit and probably setting people on fire or smth whatever.
> 
> littlesforfandom.tumblr.com

“I don’t see why I always have to be your third wheel.”

 

Drogo looked at Daenerys over the top of a shelf of lube, and she envied him in that moment. Oh how she wished she was tall enough to see over the vast majority of all shelves in the world. Well, okay, maybe not, because Drogo had to sit on the ground when he was stocking the lower shelves. “You are not always the… third wheel?”

 

Daenerys grinned at him. “It means a person that goes out with a couple, but they aren’t part of it.”

 

“I thought that was double dating?”

 

“No, that’s when two couples go on a date together. Third wheel is just a third person that’s not a part of the couple.”

 

Drogo shook his head, looking exasperated. “You are not always the third wheel. Sometimes Ygritte is the third wheel. Besides, I like you being with us, you are a good friend.”

 

Ugh, he also did that, it was cute and sweet and Daenerys loved it and it made her want to boop his nose or something. Cute guys need to  _ stop it _ , it’s getting in the way of living her life as a careless badass. Jon did it too. Do you  _ know _ how hard it is to be badass when your nephew/sort-of-brother/sort-of-twin is being dumb and cute all the damn time? Very.

 

She paused while straightening a row of vibrators that a teenager had messed up earlier, nose wrinkling up in confusion. “Who’s Ygritte?”

 

Drogo looked at her for a moment before realizing he’d never actually introduced the two of them to each other. “Ygritte is a friend of Tormund’s. Not many people leave the Northern clans, like many people do not leave the Dothraki tribes back home, but since they both left, they stay together. Like you and your family.”

 

Daenerys nodded. “Well, Sansa is more used to cities like High Garden, but Dragonstone is smaller.”

 

Drogo smiled, almost wistfully. “The Dothraki sea is vast. Tormund says the Northern clans cover much ground as well. High Garden is… populous…”

 

Daenerys grinned, going back to shelving. “It is. It’s what defines a city, I think. You should ask Ygritte to come too. I’m still tired of being your third wheel.”

 

“Of course.”

 

***

 

Daenerys liked Ygritte. So far since the two of them had met at the beginning of the night, she had managed to insult a priest, steal Tormund’s entire plate of fries without him glaring at her, and take up two seats in the movie theater without anyone arguing with her, even though it was a full house.

 

Daenerys might be in love actually.

 

The movie was shit, and the four of them were about five minutes from being kicked out. Drogo couldn’t keep his hands off of Tormund, who was  _ pretending _ to watch the movie, but Daenerys is pretty sure he’s into this sort of thing, and Daenerys and Ygritte wouldn’t stop giggling while they went through the pictures on their phones.

 

They had a surprisingly large amount of stuff in common.

 

Ygritte let out a little squeak, immediately earning her a glare from one of the idiots who were actually paying attention to the movie still. “Aww, you have a kitty? What a little sweetie!”

 

Daenerys grinned, swiping right to show a picture of a sphynx cat sitting on top of a sleeping man, about the same age as her. It was glaring at the camera, utterly adorable. “My half brother, Tyrion, he spoils me and Jon a lot. He got him Mister Fluffers for our last birthday. I got another lizard. I have three now.” She swiped right again, showing a picture of three angry looking lizards on a couch, one green, one red, and one yellow.

 

Ygritte had to hide another squeak, that was so damn cute. “Any other pets?”

 

“Jon and Sansa both have direwolves. Got them from Sansa’s dad before we all moved down here. There weren’t enough pups for me to have one too, but that’s okay. I like reptiles more.” She showed another picture of Jon and Sansa, both with direwolves the size of small horses.

 

Again, that squeak. Ygritte  _ really _ liked pets.

 

True to their word, the four of them got kicked out of the movie theater no more than five minutes later.

 

***

 

Ygritte was awesome. She wasn’t afraid to talk back to Tormund and Drogo when they were being pushy - which is a plus, because Daenerys isn’t afraid of it either, she liked a girl with confidence. She knew that Daenerys worked at a sex toy shop, of course she does, because Tormund and Drogo work there too, but you’d be surprised at how many budding relationships that had ended for the young woman.

 

On their first date, they went to the zoo and she didn’t even get bored when Daenerys told her literally everything she knew about the lizards in the reptile section.

 

“You  _ really _ like reptiles, don’t you?”

 

Daenerys let out a happy little sigh, almost dreamy. Ygritte blinked in shock as she watched the girl, feeling her own cheeks heating up. Oh god, she  _ really _ liked Daenerys. “I’ve always loved lizards, they’re so sweet. I wish I had dragons, wouldn’t that be amazing, dragons.”

 

Ygritte smiled at her, looking in the glass to see what she was grinning at. It was a pretty salamander. “Dragons would be the most amazing.”

 

She liked the way that Daenerys’s eyes lit up at the words, sending her a smile that put butterflies in her stomach, and made her want to kiss her so bad. No, she couldn’t do that, not yet, a bit presumptuous this early on in a date. But her stomach was still fluttering, and her heart felt impossibly light, head floating. She followed Daenerys over to the next exhibit so they could watch the  _ tiniest _ turtle eat a strawberry.

 

She wanted to watch the turtle, really, it was adorable… but Daenerys was cuter…

 

She is  _ so _ fucked.

**Author's Note:**

> littlesforfandom.tumblr.com
> 
> Further peoples that you might be wondering about:   
> Petyr runs a sex shop in King's Landing and is known for being very untrustworthy.  
> Tyrion is a college philosophy professor in King's Landing, married to Bronn, they have an adopted teenager Pod who's been with them since he was a little kid.  
> Cersei and Jaime still had kids, they've managed to keep it a secret tho, saying that Cersei is aromantic and wanted kids so artificial insemination, and Jaime lives with them to 'help out'. They insist that the kids can call Jaime Dad, but don't force it. Only Joffrey doesn't, because he's in denial. Since Joanna didn't die in childbirth, Cersei doesn't hate Tyrion, and in fact, gets drunk with him on the weekends and it's glorious. Cersei is a stay at home mom who occasionally helps at their dads company and Jaime is a cop.  
> Benjen is married to Yoren, they're both with the nature/forest service who live so far North it's basically all ice and do test on the animals and wildlife to make sure they're safe or whatever it is that nature people do idk. Gay ice scientists.
> 
> So, anyways, gay.


End file.
